10 Ways to Invest in Yourself

• By Dr. Carmen Harra, www.huffingtonpost.com

A famous singer in Romania during my youth, I became and remained the breadwinner of my family from a very young age. Everything my loved ones wanted, they got, from houses to cars to the finest education. This constant "giving" continued throughout my life. But along the way, my family trickled away: My sister left to Europe, my daughters all grew up, and my parents and husband passed away. I found myself with, well, no one to please... save myself.

In my eyes my husband was the most wonderful, handsome, and perfect man alive. But after his passing over four years ago, there were suddenly more hours in the day. And with my three grown daughters off on their own, I had no laundry to do, no bills to pay, and no messes to clean up. I was also no longer a shoulder to cry on or dear confidante in need. I could work less and have more free time. But the question was, what would I do with it?

I moved to Florida near the beach soon after my husband's death. To occupy my new-found leisure, I meditated on the gently crashing waves and tried to decipher the seagulls' sad songs. It was during one of these sessions that I realized just how much I adored the ocean. Yet I so rarely experienced its splendor, because I had been investing my time in everything and everyone but myself. I had, in fact, exhausted my powers for the pure love of others.

My anecdote is the reality of many: The majority of us seldom put ourselves in first place. We invest in the latest appliances and gadgets to organize/complicate our lives, hopeful business ventures, and other people's dreams. We dress according to trends and style our hair from magazines. But in doing so, are we doing what we love or do we love conforming to the whims of the world? Are we truly free, or is our freedom entirely dependent on the impressions of others?

Honestly answer these three questions:

When was the last time I did something I loved?
What have I done to better myself in the past month?
To whom do I listen?

You will better understand how your energy is consumed based on your answers. If you feel you deserve more self-care, put into practice the following 10 ways to invest in your own welfare and watch your inherent strength resurface:

Discover your true needs. No two people have the exact same needs. Establish what's most important for you to gain, have, and keep in your life, e.g., what you truly need as opposed to what you simply want.

Raise your self-worth. Even if you think you already possess a healthy dose of self-esteem, work to improve your opinion of yourself. This calls for a remorseless disposal of fears and perceived insecurities as well as the healing of old wounds once and for all.

Never apologize for who you are. Be an unapologetic bearer of your best and worst traits, the totality of your being. What may seem like a personal defect to you may be an endearing trait to someone else. You are perfect and flawed in a unique combination that can never be replicated, and this fact should be embraced.

Never go against your intuition. Your intuition knows more than you think. Learn to trust your inner voice without hesitation; reason may tell you one thing, but your instinct tells you the right thing, always.

Create a bigger version of yourself. Don't settle on a self-imposed plateau; always aim a bit higher than before. Visualize your ideal life -- regardless of how unattainable it may seem now -- and act to manifest it one element at a time.

Take impeccable care of yourself. If you don't practice the art of self-care, who will do it for you? Adopt healthy habits and grow stronger each day in mental, emotional, and physical ways. Ensure that the situations in which you choose to become involved are helpful and not harmful.

Set an example. Setting an example for others means that you act with integrity under all circumstances, which is a sign of careful attention to your being. When you set an example, you show those around you that you've invested in yourself time and time again to reach a level of excellence.

Multiply your riches. There exists greater richness in knowledge, wisdom, compassion, and tenacity than in all the money in the world. These are realizations unmatched by any amount of wealth which allow you to navigate through inevitable challenges with ease. Those who know, grow.

Do what you love. Oftentimes it is the simplest things that deliver the most profound joy, yet we barely find time for these precious activities. Don't postpone your simple pleasures, whether you like to read or sing or hike. Perform actions grounded in a deep seat of love every day.

Weigh your options. Beware of making the same mistakes due to habit or influence. Don't be afraid to go within and weigh your options before making decisions. Remember that you have the right to pick the people and things you want in your life -- they should not pick you.

The beauty of sacrifice is that you will not always be able to put yourself first. But by raising your awareness of what you deserve, you can foster a healthy balance between how much you do for others and how much you do for yourself. You are your single greatest investment, and to put energy into your well-being is to ensure the equal well-being of those who depend on you.

To investing wisely,
Dr. Carmen Harra

To connect with Dr. Carmen Harra on Facebook, click here.

For more by Dr. Carmen Harra, click here.

To visit Dr. Carmen Harra's website, click here.

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8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

• By Marc Chernoff, www.marcandangel.com

“The best way out is always through.”
―Robert Frost

“Today, I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed.  But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one.  Up until now I have had no health problems.  I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins.  Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds.  None of these patients could be a day older than 17.”

That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 9/16/1977.  I photocopied it and pinned it to my bulletin board about a decade ago.  It’s still there today, and it continues to remind me that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.  And that no matter how good or bad I have it, I must wake up each day thankful for my life, because someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.

Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.  Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:

1.  Pain is part of growing.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward.  And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to.  When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose.  Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.  Good things take time.  Stay patient and stay positive.  Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you.  When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

2.  Everything in life is temporary.

Every time it rains, it stops raining.  Every time you get hurt, you heal.  After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever.  It won’t.  Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it.  It won’t last forever.  If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.  Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh.  Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.  Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending.  You get a second chance, every second.  You just have to take it and make the best of it. (Read The Last Lecture.)

3.  Worrying and complaining changes nothing.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.  It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.  It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it.  If you believe in something, keep trying.  Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future.  Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter.  Take action instead.  Let what you’ve learned improve how you live.  Make a change and never look back.

And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

4.  Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed.  It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward.  A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of.  Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage.  Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear.  You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them.  You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.

Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars.  See your scars as a sign of “YES!  I MADE IT!  I survived and I have my scars to prove it!  And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”

5.  Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it.  So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.  Otherwise, there’s no point in starting.  This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion.  It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end.  It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills.  It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar.  It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers.  It could mean lots of time alone in solitude.  Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible.  It gives you the space you need.  Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.

And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds.  And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine.  You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path.  And it’s worth it.  So if you’re going to try, go all the way.  There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

6.  Other people’s negativity is not your problem.

Be positive when negativity surrounds you.  Smile when others try to bring you down.  It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus.  When other people treat you poorly, keep being you.  Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.  You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you.  They do things because of them.

Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough.  Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future.  People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it.  So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think.  If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it.  Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.

All jokes aside, your life only comes around once.  This is IT.  So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.

7.  What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.

True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.  There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them.  You can’t force things to happen.  You can only drive yourself crazy trying.  At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey.  You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way.  Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.  (Read A New Earth.)

8.  The best thing you can do is to keep going.

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.  Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.  Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher.  Find the strength to laugh every day.  Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.  Find it in your heart to make others smile too.  Don’t stress over things you can’t change.  Live simply.  Love generously.  Speak truthfully.  Work diligently.  And even if you fall short, keep going.  Keep growing.

Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily TO-DO list:

1. Think positively.
2. Eat healthy.
3. Exercise today.
4. Worry less.
5. Work hard.
6. Laugh often.
7. Sleep well.

Repeat…

The floor is yours…

What helps you stay motivated when you’re struggling?  What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when everything seems to be going wrong?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts

How to stop giving a F@$% what people think.

• By Sean Kim, medium.com

We‘re all guilty.

Everyday from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us.

We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does.
We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become moulded by how we think other people perceive us.

How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?

Just writing that paragraph alone gave me a headache…
It’s exhausting. It’s dreadful. It has to stop.

Living a life that follows the ideal notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless spectator who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a follower.
Worst of all, it makes you become someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything.

Today is the last day we live a life dictated by others. Today, we’re going to get to the bottom of the truth. Today is the day we stop giving a F@$%.

No one really cares

Believe it or not, we’re not that special.

We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is — those people are thinking the exact same thing.

No one in today’s “smartphone crazed” society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we’re too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings — not others.

A study done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have on average 50, 000 plus thoughts a day. This means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it’s only 0.02%of their overall daily thoughts.

“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — David Foster Wallace

It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to “me” or “my.” This means that unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all.

I’ve always enjoyed watching performers trying to hustle some change at the New York City train stations. These guys simply don’t give a F@$%.
But the more interesting observation I made is how the spectators react. Rather than watching the actual performers, most people are looking around to see how other people are reacting. If people were laughing, they would start laughing too. But if people weren’t paying attention, they would also pay no mind.

Even when provided the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them.

Once you understand that this is how people’s mind works, it’s a big step towards freedom.

You can’t please everyone

It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations.
There will always be people — no matter what we say or how we treat them — that will judge us. Whether you’re at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it‘s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.

Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing.

I guarantee that chances are — nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen, is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll respect you.

Start standing up for what you believe in — causes, opinions, anything. You’re going to have people that disagree with you anyways, so why not express how you truly feel?

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something in life.”— Winston Churchill

I’ve learnt that it’s better to be loved by a few people you care about, than to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, spouse — the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They’re the only people that matter.

You reap what you sow

Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts to become the way we behave. These individuals become people-pleasers and overly accommodating to others, thinking it will stop them from being judged.
In fact, the opposite is true. Most people don’t like push-overs and are turned off by it. The behaviour we use in an attempt to please others, can actually cause the opposing effect.

If how we think affects our behaviours, then how we behave affects who we attract.

This means that if you’re a push-over, then you’re going to be attracting others in your life who are also push-overs. Vice versa.
This can be quite a dangerous path to go down if you don’t recognize its consequences.

It’s been said that we are the average of the five people we hang out with the most. When we start to attract and associate with the same people that share our weaknesses — we’re stuck. We stop growing, because there’s no one to challenge us to be better. We start thinking that this is the norm and we remain comfortable. This is not a place you want to be.

Now let’s talk about the cure. Here are 5 ways to stop giving a F@$%.

Reclaiming your freedom

1. Know your values

First and foremost. You need to know what’s important to you in life, what you truly value, and what you’re ultimately aiming for. Once you know who you really are and what matters to you, what other people think of you become significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for — something you believe in.

You’ll stop saying yes to everything. Instead, you’ll learn to say no when friends pressure you to go bar-hopping, or when a tempting business opportunity that distracts you from your business.

When you have your values straight, you have your shit straight.

2. Put yourself out there

Now that you know what your values are, it’s time to put yourself out there.

This can be done several ways. Here are a few suggestions:

Blogging

Wearing a polka-dot sweater

Public Speaking

Flirting/Asking someone out

Keep in mind that when you’re doing any of these activities, you have to speak your mind. Be honest with yourself and what you share, because the world doesn’t need another conflict-avoider who does what everyone else does.

3. Surround yourself with pros

Surround yourself with people who are self-assured, and live life without comprising their core values. These people will rub off on you quickly.

One of my best friends, Cody, has been a big influence on me. Having spent the summer with him, I’ve observed countless times where he strongly voiced his opinion on controversial topics. What I learned was that he was simply voicing opinions that people already had in their heads, but were too afraid to voice. People admired him for being sohonest and direct, even when they disagreed with his views.

Thanks for not giving a F@$% Cody.

4. Create a “Growth List”

OK, now we’re getting personal.

I haven’t told anyone this, but I have this list called the “Growth List.”

A Growth List is comprised of all the things in life that makes you uncomfortable. These are fears, insecurities —anything that gives you the jitters.

My Growth List

Here’s how it works.

You start by writing all the things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Then one-by-one, you do them. Once you complete the task, you move on to the next. Repeat.

My first growth task was taking a cold shower. I turned the water as cold as it could get, and I could feel my body shake before I even entered the shower. This was the inner bullshit voice in my head talking.

It was hard at first. But surprisingly, it got easier the second time. Then even easier the third time. Before I knew it, my body stopped shaking — I was no longer uncomfortable, I’ve conquered my fear.

This exercise does wonders. I have yet to find a better way to get out of my comfortable zone. You can read all the books in the world about being confident or getting over your fears, but if you don’t take action, you’re just someone who’s read how to ride a bicycle without ever having ridden one.

5. Travel alone

If you’re looking for an ultimate transformation that combines all of the points above, you should travel alone. Traveling with other people can be fun, but you won’t get the opportunity to truly get out of your comfort zone.

You’ll be exposed to different social cultures, break social norms that you didn’t even know existed, and ultimately be forced to burst out of your small bubble.

Bring as little as possible, and fit everything into one backpack. Plan nothing, except for a one-way flight ticket to your destination — figure everything else out when you’re there. Trust me, you’ll be just fine.

It won’t be easy initially, but don’t get discouraged. Being comfortable with the uncomfortable will grow with time. I continue to struggle with it everyday, as do many others. But you need to get started today.

The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don’t give a F@$% are the ones that change the world.
Be the latter.

Start living life the way you want, be fearless like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for the truth.

Someone has to.

If you found this article helpful, give it a big fat Recommend and share it with your loved ones. You can find me on Twitter @sseankim.

Train Your Brain to Think Like a Creative Genius

• By Tanner Christensen, lifehacker.com

Maria Konnikova, a world-reknowned Harvard psychologist and writer, explores what it takes to have a mind capable of matching the fictional detective/genius Sherlock Holmes in her book Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes.

This post originally appeared on Creative Something.

If you're unfamiliar with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Holmes, you're missing out on both a classic series of novels that will undoubtedly make you think, as well as a number of cult-classic films and television series. Holmes, it seems, is a thinker that has inspired generations with his wit, creativity, and intelligence.

But how well does a fictional character with remarkable intellect such as Holmes relate to us? According to Konnikova, we can all learn to think like Holmes, whether we're creative geniuses and unfathomably intelligent, or whether we're just an average thinker who occasionally likes to pursue the sporadic day dream.

As it turns out: you don't have to be remarkably intelligent to be creative, you just have to know how to use the intellect you've got to produce ideas. Specifically, there are three ways to see this process through.

Have More Experiences

Creativity draws from only what you already know, and sometimes from what you don't know you know. When you're working on something and you have that sudden "Aha!" moment of insight, that's your brain finding a creative match to the topic at hand. Even if the match is one that was previously buried in the deepest folds of your brain (in the long-term memory area of the brain known as the hippocampus).

You may not immediately know the concept was there, but through an intense and lightning-fast series of processing, your brain was able to pull the information out. Where did that information come from in the first place? Through past experiences you've had, not from a mystical unknown.

The fictional Sherlock refers to this storage locker of experiences as the "brain attic." You don't have to do any work on the front of things to store and sort through the ideas stored in your brain attic, you just have to have the experiences.

To quote Konnikova:

"A mind that can find connections between the seemingly unconnected can access its vast network of ideas and impressions and detect even faint links that can then be amplified to recognize a broader significance, if such a significance exists. Insight may seem to come from nowhere, but really, it comes from somewhere quite specific: from the attic and the processing that has been taking place while you've been busy doing other things."

Trying new foods, taking a different route to school or work, reading a random book, visiting a foreign country, doing things spontaneously, and experimenting with the objects you have around you are all ways to build up your experiences and the number of resources to pull from in your brain attic.

So if you want to be more creative, you don't necessarily have to have more schooling (though it undoubtedly helps in this regard) or natural intelligence, you just need to have more experiences to start off with.

Think on Your Experiences More Often

Another signature trait of creative geniuses is their habitual tendency to think on their experiences. What good is all of that new stuff you're trying and all of the discovery you're doing if you don't ever take the time to think about it. This doesn't have to be an existential type of thinking or personal reflection, it can be as simple as playing the event over in your mind several times and calling it a day.

Some of the best ways to think on experiences are exactly what they say on the tin: meditation, yoga, journaling, a good conversation with friends (or strangers), or simply day dreaming. When you think on your experiences you're essentially doing multiple things that will yield positive results for your creative abilities.

The first thing that reflection like this does is strengthen related connections in your neurological network.Thinking on things makes it more likely that the knowledge will be more readily available when you need it most: when you're stuck on a problem at work or when you're brainstorming for new ideas at home.

Another thing that happens when you think on your experiences is you mentally make distinctions between what was important and what wasn't. Thinking on our experiences forces us to observe, not to merely see or hear, but to really make sense of what's going on. As Konnikova explains:

"When we observe, we are forced to pay attention. We have to move from passive absorption to active awareness. We have to engage. "

Passive thinkers who merely let experiences happen to them are missing a prime opportunity to learn more, and therefore have more resources to pull from when they need to most.

Pursue More Than One Solution

When faced with a problem or challenge, a typical person will think long enough to come up with a single solution, whereas the likes of Holmes will actively continue searching in an attempt to more accurately grade the initial solution. While a first thought may commonly be appropriate, there's no way of knowing whether it's the best conclusion unless you spend a little bit more time evaluating other options.

In the Sherlock series we often see his accompanying partner Watson both figuratively and literally jump to conclusions, while Sherlock typically stands by idly evaluating possibilities. The creative mind is one that commonly embraces time as a benefactor of sorts. Konnikova separates the more creative mind from the typical mind by calling them into the two types of systematic thinking that they are:

"I'm going to give the systems monikers of my own: the Watson system and the Holmes system. You can guess which is which. Think of the Watson system as our naïve selves, operating by the lazy thought habits—the ones that come most naturally, the so-called path of least resistance " that we've spent our whole lives acquiring. And think of the Holmes system as our aspirational selves, the selves that we'll be once we're done learning how to apply his method of thinking to our everyday lives; and in so doing break the habits of our Watson system once and for all."

If you want to be more creative you have to aspire to think like Sherlock: take your time, be more observant, and consider multiple solutions rather than first-encounters.

In conclusion, when it comes to creative pursuits, the more time you invest in experiencing and thinking, the more likely you are to come up with something truly original and grand. But, to again quote Konnikova, you have to want to think differently to truly do it.

"Motivated subjects always outperform. Students who are motivated perform better on something as seemingly immutable as the IQ test—on average, as much as .064 standard deviation better, in fact. Not only that, but motivation predicts, higher academic performance, fewer criminal convictions, and better employment outcomes. Children who have a so-called 'rage to master'—a term coined by Ellen Winner to describe the intrinsic motivation to master a specific domain—are more likely to be successful in any number of endeavors, from art to science. If we are motivated to learn a language, we are more likely to succeed in our quest. Indeed, when we learn anything new, we learn better if we are motivated learners."

Heart It

lots of work to do

Mera dil

Mera dil aap keliye machalta hai. Kyaa 

karoo yeh nahi sambhalta hai. Aap hame 

dil se laga loo. Kyoo ki yeh dil hamesha 

aap keliye dhadakta hai.