Friday, February 21, 2014

5 Things Every Man Must Do In Moderation


Nobody likes being told to ‘pull up’ when it comes to their favourite things in life, however a little  moderation is never a bad thing. It can help keep fun things fun, avoid health problems and most importantly keep you from looking a dickhead. In no particular order here are five things every man must do in moderation.
#1 Tanning
I’m not here to warn you about skin cancer, rather tell you to moderate your visits to brown town. Over tanning via the sun will age you like a pair of leather boots, too much electric beach will kill you quicker than a can of Mortein and spray tanning will only make you look like an Oompa Loompa. A tan is great but keep it to a healthy glow, not a chocolate dipping sauce. Mmmm…. delicious.
#2 Being a creep
We all love the idea of being a bon vivant, man about town, lothario…. whatever you want to call it, but don’t become the guy who’s obsessed with picking up. It’s a bad buzz and you’ll soon find the girls you want are not interested in seeing your well cooked German sausage.  Be the good time guy (flame) and care less about the moths.
#3 Talking about yourself
Get used to the idea of listening to others before winding up about telling everyone how awesome you are. Being humble is a forgotten art in the world where a humble brag is just a tweet away. Be the guy who’s just as interested in someone else’s day as your own. Do try to listen and remember too. It will be noticed.
#4 Gaining muscle
I love the gym. Eat big, lift big, get big, but too much gain and you’ll no longer fit into your favourite Gucci suit, Paul Smith shirt or Nudie Slim Jim jeans. When you’re too big it becomes difficult to buy off the peg clothing and you’ll soon be rocking Everlast t-shirts and boot cut G-Star jeans to every function. Size matters in men’s fashion, so its recommended keeping the massive in moderation.
#5 Complaining about life
Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who’s constantly bitching and moaning about life. Sure vent when you need to but keep the negativity in check. It’s a drain on your energy and those around you, plus it’s not attractive. You don’t hear girls say, ‘Oh I met the best guy the other day. He was the best complainer’. Get it? Good.

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